I am thinking today...not light fluffy thoughts that float through your head and are easily pushed aside and forgotten. I'm thinking heavy things. Time, life, death, love, loss, friendship.

How often do we go through our lives in semi-complacent mode? We start forgetting some of our blessings. Some priorities start changing places. The important lessons of life sometimes diminish. It is always a shock to feel that rude awakening when every breath is vital, when we clearly see the world around us and remember who we are and what we are aiming for. You don't have to veer far off course at all to be promptly jerked back on.

Yesterday, a friend of mine from Arizona died. Kameron Haban. I haven't even seen him in years. We very recently reconnected on Facebook. I have been extremely busy and other than the add, I have not yet sent him even a note, though I followed his family blog. Now he is gone and I have let a chance slip by to let a dear friend know he was loved and admired. He was a wonderful person with an endearing smile and I have many fond memories of him.

This world at times is all push and shove. There is much required of us at every turn. I am amazed at how complicated the world would have things be. I am happiest when I lead a simple life, when I push the demands down to a minimum. I am in no way against working hard, but I am for working for the right things. Our focus is so often pulled in many different directions and we forget whether we are coming and going. That's just life, I guess but in the last year or so, I've made a conscious effort to really feel my life, to see things around me, and to get my priorities straight. For the most part, I've done really well. Today, I can't help but feel like I failed. How many others have I been 'too busy' for? I know I'm not Superwoman. I can't do everything. I've done through drastic changes in my life and I'm lucky to be sane person right now. :) But I will truly be giving more thought to my loved ones, my life, my testimony and my future.

Grab life by the horns and go...just go in the right direction. When we drive, we are constantly aware of lights, turn signals, crosswalks, other cars. But in life, sometimes the details fade out and we become accustomed to living a certain way and lose our introspection and therefore, the glory in life.

I am commited to living a fuller life so that when I pass on to the next, I will not only know I have not wasted my minutes, but that I have cherished them and those around me.

P.S. To read Kameron and Jami's inspiring story, please visit: http://kamandjami.blogspot.com/

How the times have changed! The world is drastically different now than it was when I was kid, but my whole LIFE is very different than it was even a year ago.

This is a new year and I'm very grateful for it. I have some new year's resolutions I'd like to implement...but I am already happy with the changes that have occurred in myself and my surroundings.

With change (even good change), of course, often comes sorrow and regret. We are used to things 'a certain way.' I think that stretching beyond our comfort zone into the unknown is what forces us to grow and to find true happiness. But at first, we are often faced with much unhappiness and discomfort in the process.

Last year I had two jobs, moved 7 times, had three last names (I'm keeping the latter!), lost 3 pets, gained a whole new family in addition to my own, and have done the unthinkable. The frightening. The 'taboo.' The unexplainable.

And guess what?

I'm happy. I have broken through the prison walls that surrounded me. Some were placed by others, some just by me. I have stopped making excuses for things and started doing, started being, started living and started smiling! Truly!

There are things I'll never gain back. I will always wonder about roads I could have continued down or gone down. I will always love the ones I lost. But I am at peace with my decisions. I am sure of my actions. My shortcomings can always be improved upon, but I can look myself in the mirror quite comfortably.

As a kid, I remember thinking how certain things were just not fair. I have always been a strong advocate of justice in its different forms. As an adult, I have come to realize that sometimes things are just not fair and there are things you cannot change. Circumstances cannot be forced or undone. You cannot make people change and you cannot always make them happy. Happiness is a decision, starting with yourself. True optimism and joy emanates from accepting yourself and your decisions and not bearing the consequences of other's actions, although we may love them the whole way. Each person must find their own path and travel their own journey. When the road divides, it is a cause for great heartache, but sometimes it comes down to either standing still or choosing a path.

I am so grateful for my family and friends, though I have been so very busy and may seem aloof. There is a not a day that goes by that I do not think of those I love and cherish and my goal this year is to reconnect and make sure that my loved ones know how much I care.

Happy new year!

Yes, it's a little late, but better late than never?